It was with equal amounts of trepidation, uncertainty and excitement that I checked into a retreat hotel for an engagement weekend. Dave and myself attended a training weekend on how to prepare for married life. What would come out, I asked myself. Would some of the couples split up as a result of the marriage prep course or would I have to face some hard facts about myself or my fiance? What secrets would emerge.
I often feel that modern Britons have long since forgotten the art of engagement and so it was with some relief that I learnt that we were to be given separate rooms and the exercises would take the shape of letter writing...How Victorian and civilised I thought to myself. Why do we have to keep bleating on when we can communicate in hand written letters and store them forever?
Each day we would sit through a series of presentations. Afterwards we could go alone into our respective rooms to write answers to a series of set questions on the given topic. We would then take turns visiting each other's rooms to read each other's answers before discussing and reflecting on them. This was a safe and secure environment in which to share our dreams, fears, desires and both our hopes for the future and consider and learn from our past experiences.
Dave and I realised that we've both lived a whole lotta life - there's been lots of water under the bridge and it's been a bumpy ride for the both of us for different reasons. After all we're not exactly wide-eyed 20 somethings getting hitched for the first time. But we also came to realise that there's a whole lotta life ahead of us; we've got so much more to live, to give and we'll never stop learning. Many more more years of this life awaits us.
Marrying Dave will give me the confidence to face potential knock backs and take risks in the knowledge that I'll have a safe and loving place to retreat to. And Dave marrying me will also help him take greater risks, learn to trust, love and laugh at each other and ourselves.
The weekend deepened my love and respect for Dave. He's an amazing guy; so full of love, honesty, purity of heart, gentleness and calmness. He is to me like a garden at dawn, radiating with a blanket of dew. As the sun rises over the horizon and the dawn chorus begins, so Dave is to me like the start of a new day, a new era. Morning has broken like the first morning. Blackbird has spoken like the first bird. Praise for the singing, praise for the morning. Praise for the springing fresh from the word.
I hope that you too can share in the love he has for me and I have for him in our married lives
